There was a moment during the X-Factor last year where Simon Cowell, who up until that point had been rightfully scathing to the terrible duo that is Jedwood, had said, “that…that was kind of good”. The statement, you must realise, wasn’t suggesting the boys had any talent, only that Cowell had reached a brick wall and found that, on judging them by their own merits, their performance that night had been better than their previous ones.
This is exactly how I feel about Resident Evil: Afterlife. In any semblance of normality, Afterlife is an abomination. I still found myself complaining quite loudly about certain things: why is it so loud? Why can’t Wesker speak without gritting his teeth? Why do they all opt to stay on the boat at the end when there are clearly helicopters in the cargo hold? Why are the action scenes so terrible and so slow (and I mean literally slow. One involving a huge man with an equally huge axe takes ten minutes to get anywhere due to the excruciatingly slow, slow motion)? Why is there a constant “thumpthumpthump” of industrial metal music cues when people a doing things as innocuous as turning their heads? But to expect anything less at this point is futile and, ultimately, impossible. I don’t see how this series can get any worse than the second entry, which succeeds in being hot contender for the worst film ever made.
The down time is generic zombie stuff (it really is sad when the slow segments are the best bits) and the cast is suitably z-grade. To say it’s the best of the lot is saying little but I found myself getting only slightly miffed as opposed to flat out angry.
The 3D was good though, I'll give it that
2.5/5
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